How to access self when you feel numb

Accessing self is dependent on knowing what you want. It is dependent on knowing what you REALLY want. If you are not clear about this, you might take a guess, a snap judgment, or grab the first thing that feels good.  This could mean saying something you regret, it could mean grabbing junk food, or using substance, or insisting your viewpoint is the correct one over another.  All of this can leave you confused and a bit lost or unclear.  If you make a thoughtless decision enough times, it can lead to fatigue and helplessness leading to giving up.  Dont give up! Here is a way to reclaim the self and a sense of compassion towards self. 

All it takes is 3 questions.  yes, only three questions.  Full disclosure, these three questions take time. Find a quiet space without inturruption and take a few deep breaths. The first question to ask is what you are feeling.  This question is best answered with actual feeling words that might include happy, sad, angry, confused, scared, confused, tired, hungry, body pain (you may list more than one, or it could be five or six feelings). Below is a chart with many common emotions. 

Once you identify the feeling(s), next ask why you have these feelings.  Go through each feeling one at a time.  Take your time with this question. You may have never taken the time to ask this before.  If you get stumped and find yourself saying ‘I dont know”, this is ok. Do not demand to find the answer but  take a little more time and be curious until the answer arises on its own.

 Now that you have identified your feelings and why you have each one, ask yourself what you want and allow the time to go after what you really want.  Identifying your feeling will help you have a deeper understanding of what you want and help you move in a healthy direction instead of a direction that is an avoidance of the uncomfortable feelings. Your feelings, even if they seem negative such as fear, sadness or anger, are not bad. The goal is not to push away those feelings, but to allow them, acknowledge them with compassion, make friends with them as they are a beautiful part of you.